Ellie Drake

Ellie is AMAZING in what she discovered.  This whole post is about the difference in motivation (biochemically) between men and women.  This is important for women to know so we know how to properly motivate ourselves (I know I've been doing it ALL wrong) and it's important for men trying to motivate the women in their lives (wives, mothers, co-workers, etc.) to know how to work differently with women than men.  She also explains some of our body and how it works.

As most of us already know, here are two nervous systems of our body: Sympathethic and Parasympathetic.

Sympathetic Pathway is when our body thinks it's in danger (fight or flight mechanism).  When we are in this state our brain tells hypothalamic mechanism to secrete hormone adrenaline.  This is the success hormone for men, but NOT for women.  This goes back to the days when men were hunters and gatherers and hunted for food and needed adrenaline to accomplish this.  Women stayed home and took care of the home.

Parasympathetic Pathway (Ellie names this to "tend and befriend") is how we our in our normal state of being, without danger present.  This is the best state for women, to be calm all of the time.  If a woman is in so much a state of adrenaline, then her body can’t process the adrenaline so it creates more body fat (to store the adrenaline away from the organs).  Too much adrenaline (from stress and busyness) also causes body to produce cortisol that is stored in fat as well.

One thing is MOST important for success is consistency and when not consistent, I have doubts and are not able to be as consistent.  Parasympathetic system is needed to feel calm and confident.  From what Ellie described, it sounds like most women LIVE in the Sympathetic Nervous System state - taking kids to and from activities, often going to work, cooking, cleaning and wearing all the hats we do.

What Ellie tells is the KEY prosperity hormone for women: Oxytocin.  Oxytocin is secreted in Parasympathetic Pathway.  In a birthing sense, oxytocin allows cervix to open and baby to come out and allows milk to let down- connection between mother and baby.  Since we are nurturers by birth, we are intended to be in a state of being calm in order to have our best success in life.  Another way Ellie describes us as women being successful: Creating and having an abundance of oxytocin in our body allows us to fulfill our purpose.  It’s like giving birth to that purpose, bonding with our purpose.

Similarly, Ellie describes what happens some times when a mother doesn't produce enough milk for her baby.  She states that when a mother is stressed about not having enough milk, she restricts her body from producing Oxytocin and milk.

 

There are three categories of learning for women: 1. Over-adrenaline – TOO driven and SO results and goal-oriented, 2. Women who do nothing, 3. Hybrid – living in Oxytocin and contributing beyond themselves

Almost 100% of the affirmations that are taught increase adrenaline, which, as a reminder is great for men but not for women.  This could be keeping us stuck and fat.  An example affirmation for men: I am a money magnet.  The best alternative for women: I trust that it is now safe to embody my prosperity.  Basically what we as women need to do is create success by letting our body know it's safe to be doing what we're doing.

The intake of breath is telling our body that we need more adrenaline, so the inhale is best for men.  In contrast, exhale for women lets our body know we are safe.  TRY THIS: For women allow a deep breath (instead of making the breath come in our bodies) in and exhale with a pleasurable sound.   This is called an Oxy Breath.  She recommends 70 oxy breaths a day.  Any time she scans her body and feels any level of resistance, she knows she’s about to have adrenaline, so she does an oxy breath to tell her body it’s safe.  How you walk and sit can also release oxytocin.  For a woman, there is never too much oxytocin.  More oxytocin helps us feel connected to our purpose in life. 

There are three components to Ellie’s purpose: 1. Personal – Ellie’s personal purpose is: “I am growing, blossoming and evolving as a woman.”  Make sure it has oxytocin attached to it and not adrenaline, 2. Professional – Ellie’s professional purpose is: “I am holding the space for other women to blossom into their professional purpose,” 3. Global – “I am holding a space for women to rising above conflict and into collaboration in this context of oxytocin.”

So basically as a summary, for men adrenaline is needed for success.  Men can be more creative, energetic and persuasive (hopefully in a good way) with adrenaline.  Conversely, women need more oxytocin and to avoid adrenaline in most circumstances.  In every day life, women need to look to create more oxytocin in our lives.  We can do this by oxy breaths, or any other thing that helps us feel calm and collected.  With more oxytocin, we women are more sure of ourselves and not stressed.  When we become stressed, our body is beginning to create adrenaline in our bodies.  We also need to motivate ourselves (including through positive affirmations) in a way that we still feel safe. To end, men and women are just motivated differently.

You are AWESOME!